Even after all that had happened things continued on pretty much as normal. At least "normal" for a marriage in which the husband is addicted to pornography and is slowly being feminized. As for the porn habit, Miss Barbara somehow knew what to do, how to help me. I overcame that addiction and have been over it for years. And the truth is, I don't want to get into a lot of detail about it, for several reasons.
One, I want this blog to be more about becoming and being a sissy and not about getting over addiction to pornography. Another is that I am not interested in getting too "hard core" in my posts and going into detail would necessarily become more sexually explicit than I am comfortable with. And lastly, it is just embarrassing. I am embarrassed about the things I used to do and the failings and weaknesses involved, so I don't want to lay it all out here. True, because of the role it played in my becoming a sissy, it must be addressed to a certain extent, but the details are for other times and places.
Miss Barbara began a subtle and suggestion-based encouragement of my steps toward feminization. Like when she suggested that the best time to wear a bra was on weekends. It turned out she was right and it soon came to feel natural. When I said I was afraid a bra would show thorough my shirt, she suggested I wear a camisole over it. Soon I was wearing bras and camisoles most weekends, holidays, vacations.
One day we were in K-Mart of all places, walking by women's sleepwear when she said, "Do you think you might like to sleep in a nightie?" I was a surprised by the question but immediately knew that yes, I would probably love sleeping in a nightie! I ended up picking one out (baby blue nylon, sleeveless, knee-length), trying it out that night and have worn nighties to bed ever since. I have quite a few of them now, at least seven that I can think of, probably more.
And then of course, that first maid dress. There was a Fredrick's of Hollywood at the mall and as we were walking by it one day, this maid costume in the window caught my eye. Not a real maid dress but the cheap, sexy costume kind. I had barely seen it, not even had time to really think anything about it, and Barbara said, "Maybe something like that would be good for you, you know, for fun." I sort of laughed it off and said something about how that little thing would never fit me. She laughed too, but said something along the lines of, "No, not that one, but something like that. If you want to dress up it might as well be as something useful."
Over the next couple of weeks we decided that I could dress up as a maid at home, at times when Barbara was not there. And it was understood that I would do at least some household chores during the times I dressed up. We found a website (http://www.tipsuniforms.com/) and picked out a practical, if a bit stereotypical, black and white housekeeping dress and apron.
I don't remember exactly how we decided on the name to put in the ship-to address. I had always thought of myself, when I was feeling feminine, sort of in the image of one of my aunts. Her name was Jackie. So, first name, Jackie. Last name? I am honestly not sure how it came about. I remember telling Barbara that "Jackie Sissy" sounded too obvious and between us we somehow decided on the name to fill in.
And so it was about a week later a package arrived at our door. It was addressed to "Jackie Goodsissy".
