Wednesday, March 30, 2011

A Man Doesn't Need a Bra? Think again!

Another little break from the "Caught Your Husband in Panties" series...

I think a lot of women could benefit from this site:

It describes itself as "the website that could revolutionize your relationship!" and I am pretty sure it could do just that for many couples. It is mainly focused on three areas: Brassiere discipline, male chastity and men as maids; all worthy subjects I think we can agree!

I especially like the section on "brassiere discipline." I had never thought about the bra as such a powerful symbol of femininity and how that can be used to influence the behavior of a man (and not in the more obvious way!) The site publicizes a very good book called Brassiered: A Complete Guide to Brassiere Discipline which tells the why and how of getting a man in a bra, and where to go from there. You can buy a copy of the book or read the entire book for free on the site. Why buy it if you can read it for free? Maybe as a gift? Like a "gag-gift-but-not-really" if you know what I mean.

Anyway, if you get a chance check it out. You'll be especially glad you did if you are a woman and you want to "help your man put a stop to bad habits, encourage him to become more attentive to your needs, and keep him safe from the temptations of adultery.."

Enjoy and thanks for reading!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Caught Your Husband in Panties... Now What? (Part 4)

We have all heard about wives who find out to their surprise that their husband is a crossdresser. What is a woman to do?
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This is the fourth in a series of articles on how a woman might handle the discovery that her husband is a crossdresser. In previous articles I began with her first reaction to the discovery and ended up discussing how it could actually be a good thing for her, for him, and for the relationship. Now it is finally time to talk about that important post-discovery conversation with the husband.

If you handled the discovery as I outlined, he was left knowing that his secret is out and that you will not ignore it. What could be going through his mind? Well, it could be (and is) a lot of things: How upset is she? (because you gave no clue when you left); Does she think I am gay?; Does she want a divorce?; Will she tell anybody about this? (possibly his greatest fear).

Above all, he is probably telling himself, and will probably swear to you, that he will never do it again. And he means it, but he will be tempted to, and almost certainly will, do it again. By the time you get home, he probably will have thrown his entire "collection" away (and likely not for the first time).

The reason for all the "probablys" is this: in rare cases, he may decide to be completely truthful and say something like, "Ok, you caught me. I am sorry that I kept it a secret from you, but this is me. I can't change and I hope you can accept me the way I am." If so, it is a good thing and shows that he is truthful and courageous, knows himself, and trusts in you and in the strength of the relationship to endure.

Every situation is different and there is no one way to handle this encounter. For starters, let on as little as possible about your feelings in the matter. Tell him that the time has come to talk and get him to the place where you will be most comfortable; the kitchen table, the living room, even the bedroom, it is up to you.

Miss Carolyn suggests bringing the word "sissy" into the conversation at the beginning and using it often. He will probably start in with apologies, excuses, explanations, or possibly with a confession such as mentioned above. In any case, this is the time to assert control over how things will proceed. Firmly interrupt him with a statement in the form of a question such as, "Just tell me this, how long have you been a sissy?"

If he objects to the word "sissy", remind him of the circumstances. Smile sweetly and say something like, "Now honey, I caught you wearing panties, of course you are a sissy." Or, "But you dress up in womens clothes, that's what sissies do." Just be specific and be sure to use the word "sissy".

Now he can't deny that by your definition he is a sissy, but he will want you to know that he is not gay. When this comes up, say something along the lines of, "Don't worry, I know that most sissies are not gay, just like most men are not gay." Notice the subtle message that, even though you don't think he is gay, you may not exactly think of a "sissy" as a "man".

Now you want him to tell you everything. Just know that no matter how much he tells you, it probably won't really be everything. The idea is to get as much as you can from him while understanding that there is almost certainly more.

Start by saying something like, "I am not upset about you being a sissy, I am upset that you were deceitful. You can help make it better by telling me everything." Do this even if you are not so sure about it yourself. It is the best way to get him talking. You might also give him a place to start by asking something specific like, "When did you first wear women's clothes?"

When he begins talking, let him talk, but also ask a lot of questions. Ask him anything you are curious about or anything about which you want more details. And remember, use the word "sissy" often. You want him to get used to thinking of himself as a sissy and of knowing that you do too. Use the word non-judgementally and without negative connotation.

In my next article, I will go over some some important specific (and potentially useful) things that you will need to learn from him. Thanks for reading!

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Caught Your Husband in Panties... Now What? (Part 3)

This is the third in a series of articles on this subject. Earlier articles gave advice about how to react to the initial discovery and tried to relieve some doubts that may have arisen. I also explained why it was kept secret and described the shift of power that occurred at the time of discovery. Now I want to discuss the range of possible changes in the relationship that might result.

The first thing to know is that by far the most unlikely change is no change at all. The genie (or maybe Jeannie? ) is out of the bottle. You now know that your partner is a crossdresser, and he knows that you know. There is no way that either of you can "unknow" it. Even if you want to try and he agrees to never do it again, it is very unlikely to be permanent.

It is a common cycle among closeted crossdressers: A man has a desire to wear panties or to dress up, and in pursuit this, he accumulates items which must be kept hidden. This becomes a source of increasing stress as the collection grows. Then something happens, he is almost discovered or the sense of guilt due to conflicted feelings (see Part 2 of this series) becomes too great, and he "purges". He throws everything away and promises himself that he will never do it again, and he means it. But sooner or later, the cycle begins again.

You cannot spend your relationship like this, wondering if your partner is dressing up when he is alone or if he is hiding something from you. You can't always be afraid to (or maybe trying to) walk in on him unexpectedly. Do you want him to always be fighting this desire and feeling guilty about it? And what about the inevitable time when you find hidden panties, or catch him dressed up again? Such a relationship, full of suspicion and lacking in trust, is doomed to fail. There is a better way, a whole range of better ways.

First, you should accept that your partner is a crossdresser and always will be. This will allow you to see the situation clearly. Once you do this, you will begin to see how it can work to your advantage and make you, your partner, and the relationship happier than ever. I will point out some of the possibilities and you are sure to discover others for yourself.

Next, resolve that you will be the one in control of the situation. This is not a comfortable idea for many women, but if it makes you nervous, focus just on this one area. You will get used to it and later you can expand your control if you like (and you probably will). You could tell him that he can continue his behavior out of your sight, but this is not recommended. It will drive you apart over time and, more importantly, you lose control of the situation and any advantages to be gained.

Now you can think about what you want. Would you like to make sure your husband is faithful? Good news! A man that is in panties 24/7 will rarely cheat on his wife. How about some help with the household chores? Congratulations! You are well on your way to having a sissy maid that will do some (or all!) of the housework. Want to be the envy of your friends? Think of their reactions when you tell them over after-work drinks that your husband is at home cleaning the bathrooms. Do you want more sex with your husband? Or maybe less? Well, with a little imagination, either of these options is possible.

Are you beginning to get an idea of the possibilities? You can have any of these benefits (and so much more) with no arguing, no nagging, no begging... virtually no effort on your part at all. And guess what? He will thank you for it! His devotion to you will be immense and unshakable. And you can get him to demonstrate his devotion in almost any way you choose (use your imagination).

The fact is, some women resort to coercion or outright trickery to get to the place where women that catch their husbands wearing panties find themselves by sheer luck. My hope is that this series of articles might help women that have found themselves in this situation realize their good fortune.

Stay tuned for part 4 where I (finally!) talk about that important first post-discovery conversation.