Thursday, June 30, 2011

Barbara's Husband in Panties and More Secrets

After the confession to my wife Barbara, I was soon in panties "24/7" as it is called. That is to say, I was wearing panties any time I was dressed. I have heard of women who want to get their man in panties having to trick, cajole, bribe and threaten him (among other things) until he finally relents and gives in to her wishes. But in my case, none of that was necessary. I did it myself with her blessing! However, it would be years before we would fully realize the ultimate effects this would have on our relationship.

The first thing I did was retrieve those thrown-away panties from the garbage can (there were thirteen pairs!) and wash them. Over the next few years I bought dozens of panties, probably over a hundred. I loved shopping in the lingerie department! Every chance I got I would browse the tables and racks for pretty new panties. When Barbara and I went to malls together we would often shop in the lingerie departments and pay at the cashier together. I remember once a cashier at Dillards said, "Are you sure this is right? These are the same as these but the sizes are different." To which Barbara answered, "Yes, it's right, those are for him." The cashier glanced my way and said, "Oh, I see," and continued the transaction. I stood there blushing and unable to suppress my happy grin.

At first I mainly liked bikini panties. Polyester string bikini panties in endless colors and designs were popular at the time. I liked the panty lines that showed when women wore them but I had to be careful about my own panty lines. I bought bikinis of all kinds but I had one rule, "No cotton!" I wanted panties as unlike my old "boy underwear" as possible. Over the years I discovered that the polyester string bikinis were not as comfortable as say, nylon full cut panties. I also realized that buying the older style nylon briefs was even "more sissy" than buying sexy little panties. After all, no man buys that style of panties for a lover so cashiers pretty much knew they were for me. Over time I even relaxed my "no cotton" rule when I discovered how comfy cotton panties are and once again, no man would buy a style like that for a woman.

This was also the time of the first restriction that Barbara placed on me. That restriction was, "No thongs." When thong-style panties first became popular I bought a couple and she saw me in a pair. She laughed and said that they looked ridiculous and told me not to buy anymore. I said, "No more thongs? Is that a rule?" She answered that if it needed to be a rule, then yes, it was a rule. No thongs. I said "Yes Ma'am" to her for the first time and got rid of the ones I had and never bought any more.

One day I was getting ready to go to the doctor for a checkup and I could not find a single pair of "boy undies" in my dresser. I had gotten rid of most of them but I kept a few for just such situations. I asked Barbara if she had seen any of my "boy underwear" and she said, "Oh, that. I didn't think you needed them anymore so I threw them away." I asked her what I was supposed to do now, I had to go the doctor for a checkup! Her answer was simple, "You'll just have to wear panties of course." I mentioned that I might go without but she said, "No, you can find a pair of plain, conservative panties and wear those, just like a woman would do." And that is what I did. Both the doctor and a nurse saw my white cotton full-cut panties during the exam and neither of them said a word.

During this time I was not a sissy, at least not that I knew. I was just a man that wore panties. But there was one other thing. It is embarrassing to admit, but I was still a habitual and frequent masturbator. I did it virtually every time I got time alone and usually my climax would come in or on panties. But worst of all was the pornography that I would use to fuel my fantasies. It was disrespectful and degrading to women and I should have known better. In fact, I did know better. I knew it was wrong but I could not, or actually did not want to, stop looking at such things. Like wearing panties was before, my masturbation and pornography habit was a secret from Barbara. It was another time bomb just waiting to go off.

Jackie the sissy did not yet exist but her emergence was well under way. Over the next few years I would go from being a panty-wearing, chronically masturbating, secretive pervert to being the submissive, obedient (but still subject to temptation), femininity-worshiping sissy that I am today. That story will continue next time. Thanks again for reading!


  1. Great auto-bio so far. I'm looking forward to reading more as you post it. I take it that your mother-in-law had not been notified and that all your wife knew is that you wear panties.

  2. We all have a bad gurl side, Jackie - surely nothing to be ashamed of there, but isn't is great for sissies like you and me that we have such wonderful ladies to control when & how the bad gurl gets to come out and play?

    I pity these lost gurls who only seem to be in touch with their bad gurl persona and never develop their good gurl persona. They're out of control, it's unhealthy for them and, frankly, makes all sissies look bad. They need some guidance, for sure - I'm finding myself losing patience with them...grrrrr.

    Anyway, keep up the great work you're doing here, sweetie! XOXOXOXOXO