Sunday, June 12, 2011

Jackie Confesses All (Mostly) to His Wife Barbara

When I think about it, it couldn't have been a week between the time Barbara found my panties during the hurricane evacuation and when I made my confession. I know this because, after I told her, I still had time before "garbage day" to retrieve the panties I had thrown away while I was packing. But, first things first.

I knew I had to tell Barbara quickly because I was afraid she was worried I might be having an affair. I did it within a few days of things settling down after the hurricane near-miss (actually, near hit). We were riding along the beach after dinner and I brought up the panties she had found. I told her that I didn't want her to worry so I had to tell her something. And I told her that I did not have a girlfriend, the panties were mine, and I had them because I liked to wear them.

That was when the yelling, crying, accusations, all the things I had been afraid of... did not happen. For one thing, she told me that she did not really believe that I was having an affair. She had already guessed that I had panties because I liked to wear panties. But there were some other things about which she did want answers.

"You're not gay, right?" she asked. I told her no, I was not gay. She had done some research of her own and told me that from what she could tell, most men that crossdress are not gay. She wanted to know how long I had been doing it. I told her about how I started trying on, buying and wearing panties back at the beginning of our marriage when we worked different shifts. She asked where I got my panties. I told her about how I would buy a pair or two when I was traveling for work or sometimes when I got a chance at the mall in Jacksonville (we lived in a smaller town outside of the city). She wanted to know if what she found was all I had and I told her about the ones I had thrown away while packing for the evacuation. She had a good laugh about that, we both did. And she asked if I was only interested panties or did I want to wear bras or other women's clothes. I told her that it was just panties. The conversation basically went on like that for a little while.

I should mention here some things that I did not tell her, however. For one thing, although not gay, I would still think about men sometimes when I was playing around in panties. I didn't mention that I experimented with wearing "girl clothes" as a teen and even earlier. I also left out the strong association of panties and masturbation in our early marriage, and the fact that I was still a very frequent masturbator, especially when I was in panties. And then there was the fact that it was not just panties. I also had garter belts and stockings and pantyhose and would love to try on a bra. So although I was honest in what I said, I was still not entirely forthcoming.

Barbara was totally accepting of everything that I told her. She only wished that I had felt secure enough to be honest with her sooner instead of making her find out the way she did. I told her that I had been planning on telling her, trying to think of a good way, but I was too embarrassed and felt too silly to actually do it. She said something like, "Well, men wearing panties is a pretty silly thing but if that is what you want to do, go ahead and do it."

From that point on I have very rarely even put on any "boy underwear" and soon did not have any at all. At first I was basically just a man that wore panties (and masturbated), but little did I know that it was just the beginning.


  1. Hi jackie,

    It's interesting that Miss Barbara figured from the get go that those were your panties and not panties from girlfriends, isn't it? She seemed to immediately reject the notion you were cheating on her and that you had the panties because you were a sissy, researching crossdressing instead of a cheating male.

  2. I asked her later how she knew I wasn't cheating and she said something like, "Because I would have already known if you were." Plus, she said that if they were a woman's panties they would have been for a pretty large woman and she recognized that they were the size I would wear. But she also said something like, "knowing that were a panty wearer did explain a few things," but she wouldn't tell me what those things were!

  3. Did she ever tell you later what things were explained by you wearing panties?

    I'm looking forward to hearing about how and when her mother was called in and it was mutually agreed by the three of you that you were a sissy and how that understanding has manifested itself in your marriage.