Hi there! Just a quick break from the "Caught Your Husband in Panties" series to bring you a really great link that a friend showed me. Dream Lover Labs makes and sells various devices used for training males but the page I really like is this one:
http://www.dreamloverlabs.com/theory.php
It contains several essays on the training of males by Women. This link could be a big help to a lot of women! It would be a great benefit to society if all women were aware of these techniques. I don't know if Miss Barbara has ever read this exact page but I recognize many of these techniques from her use of them in our marriage!
Pass this link on to any women that you know, especially women with disrespectful or overbearing husbands! These men need to be trained for their own good, the good of society, and most of all for the benefit of the woman.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Caught Your Husband in Panties... Now What? (Part 2)
We have all heard about wives who find out to their surprise that their husband is a crossdresser. What is a woman to do?
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This is the second part of a series that describes how a woman might handle the unexpected discovery that her husband secretly dresses in women's clothes. In the first part, I described Miss Carolyn's advice about the best way to react at the time of the discovery. I also touched on some of the things a woman might feel and mostly dispelled one major concern, the fear that the husband is gay. I ended part one by describing the immediate power-shift in the relationship, which happens in any female-male relationship, when you see him dressed in women's clothes.
Miss Carolyn's advice about the best way to react at the time of discovery involved telling him that you two will be talking over the situation soon and then immediately leaving. The reasons for this approach are twofold: First, it lets him know that his secret is out and that you are not going to ignore it and second, leaving without giving him a chance to respond increases his tension about what is to come.
If the discovery has already occurred and you did not respond in this way, don't worry, it may not be too late to follow Miss Carolyn's advice. You can start by bringing up the subject at an unexpected time, such as when he is watching sports or working in the yard, and letting him know that you want to talk about it... when you get home. The key is to do this when you are leaving for a short time and to give him as little chance as possible to react. This will have the same tension-building effect mentioned earlier.
Then leave. Go shopping, have a drink, get your nails done, have fun! But you have some thinking to do during this time. After all, you have to decide what you want to do with your new-found power. You also have to acknowledge that your husband has been hiding this side of himself from you and you may feel resentful or even betrayed. However, it is important that you understand the reason that he kept this secret from you.
The reason is many-faceted but it boils down to one main thing: It is because he loves you and he is concerned about what you think of him. Through no fault of his own, he has been taught that femininity is inferior to masculinity and therefore he is deeply conflicted about his need to express himself in a feminine manner. It is because of this conflict within himself that he felt he needed to keep this secret from you. He was afraid that you would think less of him because of this feminine side.
And the truth is, you were raised in the same society. You might also feel that femininity is "less" than masculinity, if only at a subconscious level. You have to examine your own feelings and be honest, do you think less of him now that you have seen that he needs to express a feminine side? If so, it is something with which you will need to come to terms. Why would you think less of him upon finding him dressed in woman's clothes? Would he think less of you if he found you dressed in man's clothes? Probably not. And why is that? You need to consider this and the whole situation may turn out to be a learning experience for both of you.
Miss Carolyn's advice: Accept that your husband has a feminine aspect that he needs to express, forgive him for keeping it a secret, and get over your negative feelings of resentment or betrayal. He did not intend to hurt you. If fact, it is because of his love for you that he was trying to protect your feelings. True, he may not be exactly the man that you thought you married, but if you think less of him, it is because you yourself harbor feelings that women (and femininity) are inferior to men (masculinity).
Now, about that "new-found power" I mentioned. You may not feel it (yet) but it happened in his mind the instant you saw him in panties (or in a dress, or whatever). He felt exposed and vulnerable and you were suddenly in possession of his deepest, darkest secret. You are now in a position to bring about almost any change in your marriage that you desire.
So, what will you do? Needless to say, Miss Carolyn has some ideas and advice about that. In order to keep things short, I will cover these in my next article. Thanks for reading and I do hope you will stick around as I continue the series!
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This is the second part of a series that describes how a woman might handle the unexpected discovery that her husband secretly dresses in women's clothes. In the first part, I described Miss Carolyn's advice about the best way to react at the time of the discovery. I also touched on some of the things a woman might feel and mostly dispelled one major concern, the fear that the husband is gay. I ended part one by describing the immediate power-shift in the relationship, which happens in any female-male relationship, when you see him dressed in women's clothes.
Miss Carolyn's advice about the best way to react at the time of discovery involved telling him that you two will be talking over the situation soon and then immediately leaving. The reasons for this approach are twofold: First, it lets him know that his secret is out and that you are not going to ignore it and second, leaving without giving him a chance to respond increases his tension about what is to come.
If the discovery has already occurred and you did not respond in this way, don't worry, it may not be too late to follow Miss Carolyn's advice. You can start by bringing up the subject at an unexpected time, such as when he is watching sports or working in the yard, and letting him know that you want to talk about it... when you get home. The key is to do this when you are leaving for a short time and to give him as little chance as possible to react. This will have the same tension-building effect mentioned earlier.
Then leave. Go shopping, have a drink, get your nails done, have fun! But you have some thinking to do during this time. After all, you have to decide what you want to do with your new-found power. You also have to acknowledge that your husband has been hiding this side of himself from you and you may feel resentful or even betrayed. However, it is important that you understand the reason that he kept this secret from you.
The reason is many-faceted but it boils down to one main thing: It is because he loves you and he is concerned about what you think of him. Through no fault of his own, he has been taught that femininity is inferior to masculinity and therefore he is deeply conflicted about his need to express himself in a feminine manner. It is because of this conflict within himself that he felt he needed to keep this secret from you. He was afraid that you would think less of him because of this feminine side.
And the truth is, you were raised in the same society. You might also feel that femininity is "less" than masculinity, if only at a subconscious level. You have to examine your own feelings and be honest, do you think less of him now that you have seen that he needs to express a feminine side? If so, it is something with which you will need to come to terms. Why would you think less of him upon finding him dressed in woman's clothes? Would he think less of you if he found you dressed in man's clothes? Probably not. And why is that? You need to consider this and the whole situation may turn out to be a learning experience for both of you.
Miss Carolyn's advice: Accept that your husband has a feminine aspect that he needs to express, forgive him for keeping it a secret, and get over your negative feelings of resentment or betrayal. He did not intend to hurt you. If fact, it is because of his love for you that he was trying to protect your feelings. True, he may not be exactly the man that you thought you married, but if you think less of him, it is because you yourself harbor feelings that women (and femininity) are inferior to men (masculinity).
Now, about that "new-found power" I mentioned. You may not feel it (yet) but it happened in his mind the instant you saw him in panties (or in a dress, or whatever). He felt exposed and vulnerable and you were suddenly in possession of his deepest, darkest secret. You are now in a position to bring about almost any change in your marriage that you desire.
So, what will you do? Needless to say, Miss Carolyn has some ideas and advice about that. In order to keep things short, I will cover these in my next article. Thanks for reading and I do hope you will stick around as I continue the series!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Caught Your Husband in Panties... Now What? (Part 1)
We have all heard about wives who find out to their surprise that their husband is a crossdresser. What is a woman to do?
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Everyone has heard it so often that it is practically a cliche. A woman comes home from work early, or perhaps she leaves the house on a shopping trip and, forgetting something, returns home. She walks into her house and there, much to her surprise, she finds her husband admiring himself in the mirror, wearing a dress and pantyhose and makeup!
There are many variations of this story. Maybe the husband is parading around the house in panties, or masturbating while wearing a garter belt and stockings. Sometimes it happens that a woman finds panties among her husband's belongings and confronts him with the evidence of a possible affair, only to have him admit that the panties are his (or maybe hers) and that he himself secretly wears them.
Unfortunately, this situation is generally seen by the woman as a bad thing, if not downright catastrophic. There is the sudden realization that her husband, as she might phrase it, "is not the man that I thought I married". She may suffer feelings of betrayal because of the realization that he has been keeping secrets from her. Often, and most devastatingly, she will conclude that this means that her husband is secretly gay.
Miss Carolyn (for those who do not already know) is the mother of Miss Barbara, the woman to whom I am married. She suggested that I write this essay with the idea that it might be beneficial for women who find themselves in this situation. The first thing that she wants to make clear is this: your husband is almost certainly not gay!
It is true that he is a crossdresser, and there is likely an aspect of sexual excitement in this behavior for him, but most crossdressers are not gay. Gay men are by definition men that are attracted to other men. Most crossdressers are in fact attracted to women, just like most men. Of course, there is a small chance that he might be gay, but that has little to do with the fact that he is a crossdresser. In other words, there is a small chance that any man might be gay, crossdresser or not. The only way you would know for sure is if he told you, or if you were to catch him in an intimate situation with another man.
The next things you should know are that yes, he has been keeping secrets from you and no, he is not exactly the man that you thought you married... and, if handled correctly, both of these will be very good things for you! Also good for him and for your relationship, but especially good for you. I will come back to these points soon but for now, what should you do (or what should you have done) at the moment of discovery?
Miss Carolyn's recommendation to a woman faced with this situation is that she remain calm above all. Of course, it is only natural to register surprise at such a discovery but it is important to regain composure as quickly as possible. Try to keep in mind that no matter what you are feeling, the surprise, embarrassment, humiliation, and fear that your husband is feeling are whole magnitudes more intense, and this gives you a great advantage. The best thing to do is to say something like, "Well, isn't this a surprise? I'm leaving now but I'll be back soon and then we are going to talk. You have fun!" And then smile and calmly walk out of house. He will probably be speechless and he certainly won't follow you (not dressed like that!). And needless to say, you can bet that he will not be having any fun while you are gone.
If something like this has already happened and you did not handle it this way, don't worry, it is not too late. The main thing that a woman in this situation, or any woman for that matter, needs to know is this: Once she has seen her husband (or boyfriend, or indeed any other man) dressed in women's clothes, the balance of power in the relationship immediately shifts to her. It is almost like magic!
This power-shift is a basic principle of female superiority. If used properly, it will be the basis of your relationship with your husband from that moment on. In the next essay of this series, I will discuss how to put this principle to use, starting with that first talk the two of you have after the incident. Stick around, this is going to be fun!
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Everyone has heard it so often that it is practically a cliche. A woman comes home from work early, or perhaps she leaves the house on a shopping trip and, forgetting something, returns home. She walks into her house and there, much to her surprise, she finds her husband admiring himself in the mirror, wearing a dress and pantyhose and makeup!
There are many variations of this story. Maybe the husband is parading around the house in panties, or masturbating while wearing a garter belt and stockings. Sometimes it happens that a woman finds panties among her husband's belongings and confronts him with the evidence of a possible affair, only to have him admit that the panties are his (or maybe hers) and that he himself secretly wears them.
Unfortunately, this situation is generally seen by the woman as a bad thing, if not downright catastrophic. There is the sudden realization that her husband, as she might phrase it, "is not the man that I thought I married". She may suffer feelings of betrayal because of the realization that he has been keeping secrets from her. Often, and most devastatingly, she will conclude that this means that her husband is secretly gay.
Miss Carolyn (for those who do not already know) is the mother of Miss Barbara, the woman to whom I am married. She suggested that I write this essay with the idea that it might be beneficial for women who find themselves in this situation. The first thing that she wants to make clear is this: your husband is almost certainly not gay!
It is true that he is a crossdresser, and there is likely an aspect of sexual excitement in this behavior for him, but most crossdressers are not gay. Gay men are by definition men that are attracted to other men. Most crossdressers are in fact attracted to women, just like most men. Of course, there is a small chance that he might be gay, but that has little to do with the fact that he is a crossdresser. In other words, there is a small chance that any man might be gay, crossdresser or not. The only way you would know for sure is if he told you, or if you were to catch him in an intimate situation with another man.
The next things you should know are that yes, he has been keeping secrets from you and no, he is not exactly the man that you thought you married... and, if handled correctly, both of these will be very good things for you! Also good for him and for your relationship, but especially good for you. I will come back to these points soon but for now, what should you do (or what should you have done) at the moment of discovery?
Miss Carolyn's recommendation to a woman faced with this situation is that she remain calm above all. Of course, it is only natural to register surprise at such a discovery but it is important to regain composure as quickly as possible. Try to keep in mind that no matter what you are feeling, the surprise, embarrassment, humiliation, and fear that your husband is feeling are whole magnitudes more intense, and this gives you a great advantage. The best thing to do is to say something like, "Well, isn't this a surprise? I'm leaving now but I'll be back soon and then we are going to talk. You have fun!" And then smile and calmly walk out of house. He will probably be speechless and he certainly won't follow you (not dressed like that!). And needless to say, you can bet that he will not be having any fun while you are gone.
If something like this has already happened and you did not handle it this way, don't worry, it is not too late. The main thing that a woman in this situation, or any woman for that matter, needs to know is this: Once she has seen her husband (or boyfriend, or indeed any other man) dressed in women's clothes, the balance of power in the relationship immediately shifts to her. It is almost like magic!
This power-shift is a basic principle of female superiority. If used properly, it will be the basis of your relationship with your husband from that moment on. In the next essay of this series, I will discuss how to put this principle to use, starting with that first talk the two of you have after the incident. Stick around, this is going to be fun!
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