Shopping For Panties ...For Sissies - Just Relax, Everybody Knows the Panties are for You

Last time, we talked about where to shop for panties for sissies, especially sissies just starting out buying their own things. My opinion is that department store lingerie sections are the best option. But even then, a sissy male first shopping for herself is often nervous. That leads me to Part 2 of my series which I call, "Just Relax, Everybody Knows the Panties are for You."

It is natural to be nervous when you first start shopping for your own panties, but why? It often can be summed up by, "I'm afraid that the cashier and other shoppers will know I am shopping for myself." Well, that is nothing to worry about, because they almost certainly do know you are shopping for yourself, if they think about it at all. When you go into a lingerie department and start browsing the panties, you are pretty much admitting to it. Men might shop for lingerie for their lovers at Victorias Secret or Fredricks, but seldom at Penneys or Macys.

It is best just to assume that everyone who sees you knows you are shopping for yourself, and that they don't care. Both things are most likely true. Doing this allows you to relax and enjoy your shopping. In my experience, other shoppers barely take notice at all most of the time. They are absorbed in their own shopping and purchasing. I do try not to crowd women shoppers in the lingerie department, I don't want to appear "creepy" or anything.

Surely the cashier knows you are browsing the Vanity Fair full-cut nylon briefs (for instance) because you wear them yourself. No man would buy panties like that for a lover. So she knows you wear panties, so what? Just browse whatever you are interested in. Her main interest is that you buy something.

We talked a little about sales associates last time and what to say if you just want to browse in private. Usually the associate will say something like, "Just let me know if you need anything." One of the best ways to feel at home shopping for panties is to let her help you. You will be surprised how easy it is to say, "Do you have this in a size 7?" And how courteous and helpful her response will be, just like it is with every potential paying customer.

The cashier/sales associate will treat you just like you belong in the lingerie department, shopping for panties. And you do belong there, after all, you are a sissy! And when you check out, you should understand that she knows you are buying panties are for yourself. What else would she think when a male buys eight panties of different types? She will ring them up, take your money (which you should have easily accessible, no fumbling for a wallet), bag your purchases (sometimes even fold them!) and give them to you, with a smile on her face the whole time. Best of all, she will thank you for shopping in their store.

In short, everyone knows the panties are for you, and they mostly don't give it a second thought. And that is wonderful! So relax and enjoy your shopping experience.

Next issue: The first time I went shopping for panties, it was not pretty! Stay tuned for, "A Sissy's Guide to How Not to Shop for Panties."

Shopping For Panties ...For Sissies - What is the Best Place for a Sissy to Shop for Panties?

It is good for sissies to talk to other sissies so I am often in the "Sissy Chat" room at http://www.crossdresserchatcity.com If any of you sissies or women (or men too!) want to join in, be sure to say "Hi" to jackiesissy (that's me!).

Anyway, this budding sissy asked what might be a good next step for him in becoming feminized. The little sissy had recently moved into his own place and the only panties he had were ones he had "borrowed" (i.e. stolen). I suggested that he should go shopping for his own panties in public. That seemingly simple suggestion prompted a lot of discussion and gave me the idea to write this first of a "...for Sissies" series that I like to call "Shopping for Panties ...for Sissies". Part 1, "What is the best place for a sissy to shop for panties?"

Of course you could shop online and buy all the panties you want without having to go through the stress and exposure of shopping in a store. But the trouble is, you miss out on the thrill and exposure of shopping in a store! Shopping online accomplishes nothing, but shopping in a store is to publicly admit that you are a sissy. Plus, you get to see and feel (and maybe even try on!) all the pretty things before you buy.

The best place I have found for a sissy to shop for panties is the mall department store. My current favorite is JC Penney. I used to love Dillards but they are no longer open at my local mall. Department stores have a good selection as well as good prices. Lingerie stores like Victoria's Secret are nice but expensive, and the selection is more limited to the sexy panties for younger (and smaller) women. Discount stores like Wal-Mart are inexpensive but mostly lack quality and selection. And of course, there is the checkout problem.

At a discount store you have to take your selections to the front and stand in a long line of people with all kinds of things and buy a basket full of panties from a person used to ringing up a variety of items while people behind you observe everything that is scanned. But at a department store you can make your purchase right there in the lingerie section from a woman that sells panties all day and where the other customers are all buying lingerie. The lighting is softer and the people behind you in line are behind you, not beside you, giving a modicum of privacy. The department store purchasing experience is far more pleasant.

Another plus is the sales associates working in the lingerie section. I have found that without exception they really mean it when they ask, "May I help you?" If you are nervous or just want to look, the best response is a polite, "Not at the moment, I'm just browsing, thanks." You will see that she just accepts it as business as usual, which helps you to do the same. I'll talk more about interactions with the sales staff later.

So go to a mall or shopping center a little outside or your local area, enjoy walking around and shopping in various stores, and then go into the Penneys or Dillards or Macy's lingerie section, and enjoy shopping for panties!

Next issue: More on demeanor, interactions with staff, and how to relax and enjoy the experience in Part 2, "Act Natural, Everybody Knows the Panties are for You." Stay tuned!

Miss Barbara's Husband Slowly Becomes Feminized

Even after all that had happened things continued on pretty much as normal. At least "normal" for a marriage in which the husband is addicted to pornography and is slowly being feminized. As for the porn habit, Miss Barbara somehow knew what to do, how to help me. I overcame that addiction and have been over it for years. And the truth is, I don't want to get into a lot of detail about it, for several reasons.

One, I want this blog to be more about becoming and being a sissy and not about getting over addiction to pornography. Another is that I am not interested in getting too "hard core" in my posts and going into detail would necessarily become more sexually explicit than I am comfortable with. And lastly, it is just embarrassing. I am embarrassed about the things I used to do and the failings and weaknesses involved, so I don't want to lay it all out here. True, because of the role it played in my becoming a sissy, it must be addressed to a certain extent, but the details are for other times and places.

Miss Barbara began a subtle and suggestion-based encouragement of my steps toward feminization. Like when she suggested that the best time to wear a bra was on weekends. It turned out she was right and it soon came to feel natural. When I said I was afraid a bra would show thorough my shirt, she suggested I wear a camisole over it. Soon I was wearing bras and camisoles most weekends, holidays, vacations.

One day we were in K-Mart of all places, walking by women's sleepwear when she said, "Do you think you might like to sleep in a nightie?" I was a surprised by the question but immediately knew that yes, I would probably love sleeping in a nightie! I ended up picking one out (baby blue nylon, sleeveless, knee-length), trying it out that night and have worn nighties to bed ever since. I have quite a few of them now, at least seven that I can think of, probably more.

And then of course, that first maid dress. There was a Fredrick's of Hollywood at the mall and as we were walking by it one day, this maid costume in the window caught my eye. Not a real maid dress but the cheap, sexy costume kind. I had barely seen it, not even had time to really think anything about it, and Barbara said, "Maybe something like that would be good for you, you know, for fun." I sort of laughed it off and said something about how that little thing would never fit me. She laughed too, but said something along the lines of, "No, not that one, but something like that. If you want to dress up it might as well be as something useful."

Over the next couple of weeks we decided that I could dress up as a maid at home, at times when Barbara was not there. And it was understood that I would do at least some household chores during the times I dressed up. We found a website (http://www.tipsuniforms.com/) and picked out a practical, if a bit stereotypical, black and white housekeeping dress and apron.

I don't remember exactly how we decided on the name to put in the ship-to address. I had always thought of myself, when I was feeling feminine, sort of in the image of one of my aunts. Her name was Jackie. So, first name, Jackie. Last name? I am honestly not sure how it came about. I remember telling Barbara that "Jackie Sissy" sounded too obvious and between us we somehow decided on the name to fill in.

And so it was about a week later a package arrived at our door. It was addressed to "Jackie Goodsissy".

Barbara Uncovers More of Jackie's Secrets and Tells Her Mother

I had a lot of fun in the time after I made my confession to Barbara. I loved shopping for panties, I had a large collection, I was in panties all the time, and Barbara knew all about it, which was wonderful. However, I still had my secrets. What she didn't know about was my growing pornography and masturbation addiction, and the feeling that I wanted more than to just wear panties.

During this time, Barbara was happy for me to indulge my "panties habit" but she never participated in any fundamental way (except for maybe the "no thong" rule). The only time she exercised some influence was when I found that she had gotten rid of my "boy underwear" and I had nothing to wear but panties. But things changed and she became involved soon after I showed her my first bra.

I had wanted a bra for a while and one day we were at the mall, but shopping separately, and I bought one from J.C. Pennys. It was pretty, white, size 38b and had lacy, padded cups with no underwire. Barbara was driving us home and I showed her what I had bought. I showed her my new panties first and lastly I said, "Oh, and I got this," and pulled the bra from the shopping bag. She did not say much but I remember her asking where I planned on wearing it and I said, "I don't really know for sure."

But Barbara's active directing of my feminization didn't start because I got a bra, it just happened to be about that same time when she became aware of my pornography addiction. Her first clue came when she found a shoebox with a few video tapes (remember those?) hidden inside. All the tapes focused on my obsession with female-on-male oral sex and especially the messy climax of that act.

She questioned me about the tapes until I confessed some very embarrassing things. I told her how I watched the videos basically whenever I had time alone. I admitted that, when I couldn't watch the tapes, I would masturbate while thinking about them. And when she asked how often I was doing it, I confessed that it was about three times a week (which was in truth the minimum, sometimes it would be five or even more times a week). At the risk of understatement, she was not happy.

This time there was crying, yelling and accusations. She pointed out how seldom we had sex and now she knew why. I was expending all of my sexual energy on my fantasies. How did I think that made her feel? She said that this was not how real men satisfied their sexual needs (the first time she had ever implied that I might not be a "real man") but was something more appropriate for a horny teenager. And she said the subject matter of these video tapes was particularly nasty. It was objectifying, humiliating and degrading to the women involved. I was thoroughly chastised and had nothing to say for myself.

What I did was apologize. I cried. I said I was sorry. I begged for her forgiveness and a chance to prove myself. I tore tape from the cassettes while she watched, broke it and threw them away. I promised never to look at such subject matter again. I promised to avoid masturbating and to pay more attention to her. I asked her to let me prove I could act like a man and not some horny teen boy. I promised all of these things to her and I meant everything I said. But within a short time, I had broken every promise. In other words, I acted exactly like an addict.

Somewhat later I was told how this incident upset Barbara so much that she talked it over with her mother, Carolyn. That was when Miss Carolyn first heard about my love of panties. It was also when Barbara first heard that her own father not only wore panties, but was a sissy. Barbara also complained to her mother about her sexual frustration and dissatisfaction. As can be imagined, this conversation was to have a lasting effect on our marriage.

And so all the pieces were in place:  A husband-in-panties with a porn and masturbation addiction, a wife that knew about it, and an informed mother-in-law that had experience with a sissy of her own. Next time I will go into how Miss Barbara (and, unknown to me, her mother) began directing my feminization and trying to bring my sexual addictions under control.

Until then, thanks again for reading!

Barbara's Husband in Panties and More Secrets

After the confession to my wife Barbara, I was soon in panties "24/7" as it is called. That is to say, I was wearing panties any time I was dressed. I have heard of women who want to get their man in panties having to trick, cajole, bribe and threaten him (among other things) until he finally relents and gives in to her wishes. But in my case, none of that was necessary. I did it myself with her blessing! However, it would be years before we would fully realize the ultimate effects this would have on our relationship.

The first thing I did was retrieve those thrown-away panties from the garbage can (there were thirteen pairs!) and wash them. Over the next few years I bought dozens of panties, probably over a hundred. I loved shopping in the lingerie department! Every chance I got I would browse the tables and racks for pretty new panties. When Barbara and I went to malls together we would often shop in the lingerie departments and pay at the cashier together. I remember once a cashier at Dillards said, "Are you sure this is right? These are the same as these but the sizes are different." To which Barbara answered, "Yes, it's right, those are for him." The cashier glanced my way and said, "Oh, I see," and continued the transaction. I stood there blushing and unable to suppress my happy grin.

At first I mainly liked bikini panties. Polyester string bikini panties in endless colors and designs were popular at the time. I liked the panty lines that showed when women wore them but I had to be careful about my own panty lines. I bought bikinis of all kinds but I had one rule, "No cotton!" I wanted panties as unlike my old "boy underwear" as possible. Over the years I discovered that the polyester string bikinis were not as comfortable as say, nylon full cut panties. I also realized that buying the older style nylon briefs was even "more sissy" than buying sexy little panties. After all, no man buys that style of panties for a lover so cashiers pretty much knew they were for me. Over time I even relaxed my "no cotton" rule when I discovered how comfy cotton panties are and once again, no man would buy a style like that for a woman.

This was also the time of the first restriction that Barbara placed on me. That restriction was, "No thongs." When thong-style panties first became popular I bought a couple and she saw me in a pair. She laughed and said that they looked ridiculous and told me not to buy anymore. I said, "No more thongs? Is that a rule?" She answered that if it needed to be a rule, then yes, it was a rule. No thongs. I said "Yes Ma'am" to her for the first time and got rid of the ones I had and never bought any more.

One day I was getting ready to go to the doctor for a checkup and I could not find a single pair of "boy undies" in my dresser. I had gotten rid of most of them but I kept a few for just such situations. I asked Barbara if she had seen any of my "boy underwear" and she said, "Oh, that. I didn't think you needed them anymore so I threw them away." I asked her what I was supposed to do now, I had to go the doctor for a checkup! Her answer was simple, "You'll just have to wear panties of course." I mentioned that I might go without but she said, "No, you can find a pair of plain, conservative panties and wear those, just like a woman would do." And that is what I did. Both the doctor and a nurse saw my white cotton full-cut panties during the exam and neither of them said a word.

During this time I was not a sissy, at least not that I knew. I was just a man that wore panties. But there was one other thing. It is embarrassing to admit, but I was still a habitual and frequent masturbator. I did it virtually every time I got time alone and usually my climax would come in or on panties. But worst of all was the pornography that I would use to fuel my fantasies. It was disrespectful and degrading to women and I should have known better. In fact, I did know better. I knew it was wrong but I could not, or actually did not want to, stop looking at such things. Like wearing panties was before, my masturbation and pornography habit was a secret from Barbara. It was another time bomb just waiting to go off.

Jackie the sissy did not yet exist but her emergence was well under way. Over the next few years I would go from being a panty-wearing, chronically masturbating, secretive pervert to being the submissive, obedient (but still subject to temptation), femininity-worshiping sissy that I am today. That story will continue next time. Thanks again for reading!

Jackie Confesses All (Mostly) to His Wife Barbara

When I think about it, it couldn't have been a week between the time Barbara found my panties during the hurricane evacuation and when I made my confession. I know this because, after I told her, I still had time before "garbage day" to retrieve the panties I had thrown away while I was packing. But, first things first.

I knew I had to tell Barbara quickly because I was afraid she was worried I might be having an affair. I did it within a few days of things settling down after the hurricane near-miss (actually, near hit). We were riding along the beach after dinner and I brought up the panties she had found. I told her that I didn't want her to worry so I had to tell her something. And I told her that I did not have a girlfriend, the panties were mine, and I had them because I liked to wear them.

That was when the yelling, crying, accusations, all the things I had been afraid of... did not happen. For one thing, she told me that she did not really believe that I was having an affair. She had already guessed that I had panties because I liked to wear panties. But there were some other things about which she did want answers.

"You're not gay, right?" she asked. I told her no, I was not gay. She had done some research of her own and told me that from what she could tell, most men that crossdress are not gay. She wanted to know how long I had been doing it. I told her about how I started trying on, buying and wearing panties back at the beginning of our marriage when we worked different shifts. She asked where I got my panties. I told her about how I would buy a pair or two when I was traveling for work or sometimes when I got a chance at the mall in Jacksonville (we lived in a smaller town outside of the city). She wanted to know if what she found was all I had and I told her about the ones I had thrown away while packing for the evacuation. She had a good laugh about that, we both did. And she asked if I was only interested panties or did I want to wear bras or other women's clothes. I told her that it was just panties. The conversation basically went on like that for a little while.

I should mention here some things that I did not tell her, however. For one thing, although not gay, I would still think about men sometimes when I was playing around in panties. I didn't mention that I experimented with wearing "girl clothes" as a teen and even earlier. I also left out the strong association of panties and masturbation in our early marriage, and the fact that I was still a very frequent masturbator, especially when I was in panties. And then there was the fact that it was not just panties. I also had garter belts and stockings and pantyhose and would love to try on a bra. So although I was honest in what I said, I was still not entirely forthcoming.

Barbara was totally accepting of everything that I told her. She only wished that I had felt secure enough to be honest with her sooner instead of making her find out the way she did. I told her that I had been planning on telling her, trying to think of a good way, but I was too embarrassed and felt too silly to actually do it. She said something like, "Well, men wearing panties is a pretty silly thing but if that is what you want to do, go ahead and do it."

From that point on I have very rarely even put on any "boy underwear" and soon did not have any at all. At first I was basically just a man that wore panties (and masturbated), but little did I know that it was just the beginning.

How Miss Barbara Found Out Her Husband is a Sissy

When we first got married it had been quite some time since I had worn panties or any other women's clothes. It was something I remembered doing when I was a boy and as a teenager, but I had kind of forgotten about it or gotten away from it in late high school and college, when I started dating. I met Barbara in college, we fell in love and got married two years after we started dating.

During a period early in our marriage I was working at nights and she was working during the day and we saw each other mostly on weekends. It was also during that time that I overindulged in masturbation and pornography. After a year or so of this I came to realize that I often was not fantasizing about having sex with the women in the pics or the videos, I fantasized about being those women! It was soon after that that I felt the need to wear panties again. I tried Barbara's but they were too small. I finally got up my nerve and started buying panties for myself for the first time.

Fast forward a couple of years and we are living in Florida a half mile from the beach. We were then both working days but I still was addicted to masturbation and wearing panties and other items when I could get away with it. I especially loved running with panties on under my short half split running shorts. I had accumulated quite a collection and it was getting hard to hide. I knew that something would have to give. Either I would just have to tell her or let her find out and then tell her, I barely even considered not wearing panties.

It was during the time that I was trying to come up with a good way to tell her that a huge hurricane decided to head directly toward us out of the Atlantic and our area received the evacuation order. We secured the house, packed up a few important things and some clothes and headed inland with about a million other people. I packed some of my favorite panties in with my clothes and actually threw the rest away. I remember how many it was, thirteen pairs. But luckily, as will be seen later, they were wrapped in a plastic shopping bag.

You can probably see it coming. We ended up in a hotel room with fourteen people total, men, women and children. At some point Barb needed something from my bag and when she went to get it, she found a few pairs of pretty, sexy panties! The next day we were running an errand in the small, refugee-packed city and she said, "Oh, I found the panties in your suitcase. Are they your girlfriend's?"

Needless to say I was caught by surprise, like all men whose wives find such things. I somehow dodged the question but of course it was all I could think about for the next couple of days even as we stayed busy and worried about our house near the ocean and the hurricane. We acted as if nothing happened during that time but I knew I would have to face the question soon.

Luckily, the brunt of the hurricane missed our area and we were soon back home. The discovery hung between us for about another week before I decided to confess all. And I'll go into that next time!

I will continue the story in segments that I will try to keep short. As such, I can't go into detail about every little thing. If you want to more know about any specific aspect, let me know and I'll try to expand on it. Until then, thanks for reading!

Put the "Maid" Back into "Sissy Maid"

By definition, you have to be a sissy to be a sissy maid.  It would go without saying, except that saying it is such fun!  Indeed, being a sissy is the really fun part of being a sissy maid.  You get to wear your pretty panties and stockings, your frilly maid uniform, the make up and wig and jewelry, and of course, the shoes.  In short, you get to dress up!  But the "sissy" part is only half of the sissy maid equation.  The other half is, of course, the "maid" part. 

Acting as a maid can give a sissy purpose.  Think about it, you can dress up all you want, but if you don't go out in public, what is the purpose?  Sure, it is fun to dress up and play with makeup when you are home by yourself, but the novelty can wear off.  So, what can a "girl" do?  She can become a sissy maid! 

If you have fun dressing up, you can have just as much fun dressing up as a maid.  And if you dress up as a maid, you can be an actual maid!  What does a maid do?  What is her purpose?  Well, she does useful work serving the needs of her employer.  And who is the employer of your average sissy maid?  Why, her wife of course! 

A sissy acting as a maid in the service of her wife has advantages for both the sissy and the wife.  For one thing, a wife might not exactly be thrilled when she first discovers that her husband is a sissy.  But if a wife sees advantages to herself, it can go a long way toward helping her to accept, or even encourage, the situation.  An advantage for the wife (help with the housework) brings an advantage for the sissy (a wife's acceptance of cross dressing at home). 

But problems can occur if the sissy leaves the "maid" out of "sissy maid".  Some sissy maids seem to feel that it is enough to get dressed up in a frilly maid outfit and petticoat and prance around the house, serving her wife drinks or coffee and getting a spanking if she has been "bad".  This can be frustrating to the wife because the sissy maid is pretending to be of service but she is really doing nothing useful.  Even if the wife plays along with this scenario at first, it can quickly become tiresome and seem like just another household chore. 

It order to avoid this, the sissy maid must actually do maid work, and do it to the standards of a true maid.  She must clean the kitchen and bathrooms, and they must be spotless.  She must dust, mop, vacuum and yes, do windows.  The sissy maid must ask her wife what chores she wants done, and then she must do those chores to a high standard.  A sissy maid's wife should come to take for granted that the maid will do any chore that she specifies, and the maid must take it for granted that she will do any chores that her wife requests. 

A few suggestions for true sissy maids: 

1) While you are in "maid mode", your wife is not your wife, she is your Mistress (as in the dictionary definition of "a woman who has power, authority, or ownership; a female master).  Refer to her only as "Miss" and her first name.  Encourage her to refer to you only with your sissy name. 

2) Get a practical maid or housecleaning outfit.  Sure the frilly maid outfit and the high heels are fun, but a practical maid outfit is much better for real housework.  It is still fun to dress up in a practical housekeeping dress and much more useful for doing chores.  It is perfectly okay to have both types of outfit for different circumstances.  A good site from which to get a practical housecleaning outfit is www.tipsuniforms.com. 

3) Encourage your wife (Mistress) to create task lists for you when she is going to be away from home.  Then dress up and carry out each task on the list to the highest standards.  If you finish the list, find other things that need to be done and keep working.  Your Mistress will be very pleased when she comes home. 

4) Spend time learning the best ways to carry out housekeeping chores.  Visit sites such as www.housekeepingchannel.com.  Keep up with the best products for different tasks and keep them stocked up in your home for when "the maid comes in". 

5) Have fun!  Get satisfaction from your service and for a job well done. 

Do you have any other ideas for keeping the "maid" in "sissy maid"?  If so, post them in the comments section for all of us sissy maids to read! 

Caught Your Husband in Panties... Now What? (Part 6)

This is the sixth article of a series about what a woman might do if she finds out that her husband (or boyfriend) secretly wears womens clothes. Up to now, I have mostly addressed how she should react to and confront him with the discovery. Now I will get into how she might proceed going into the future of the relationship.

So, how do you respond if he promises never to do anything like whatever you caught him doing ever again? Since it is likely to be the first thing he tells you, say something non-committal like, "We'll come back to that." Then take control of the discussion and proceed as outlined in previous articles. That way you will accomplish some important things before you address the promise.

Among these are knowing about the extent of his habit and coming to a mutual "understanding" that he was expressing a feminine side. Once you have reached this "understanding" (the most important thing) and come to the end of discussing his past and present activities (in as much detail as possible), you can move on to the next step.

And now, at long last, we are coming to the end of this series. That is because the next steps are largely up to you (and by "you" I mean the woman that is in this situation). The only thing left is pass on a few points based on Miss Carolyn's beliefs.

It is important to understand that Miss Carolyn is a believer in the idea that feminization is beneficial at all levels from the personal to the societal. With that in mind, you can understand why she sees this sort of situation as a golden opportunity.

The first point is that you should definitely not take him up on any "never again" promise. He is highly unlikely to be able to keep it anyway. If and when he makes such a promise, say something like, "I know you believe that, but didn't you just say that you were expressing a feminine part of yourself? Is that just going to go away? I think that will always be a sissy."

The idea is that you should be the one in control and direct his feminization in ways that fit with your needs and desires. I touched on a few possibilities in a past article and hopefully you gave it some thought. If not, don't worry, you can get started now and develop ideas as you go along.

You could allow him to continue his sissy activities out of sight, but this is not recommended because you will lose both the control and the benefits of the situation. Also, it is divisive. Neither of you wants to feel that he is waiting to be left alone so that he can engage in some deep, dark activity. It may work for a while, but it will lead to the weakening and breakdown of the relationship. On the other hand, your control and direction of his feminization will ultimately be very satisfying, and even fun, for both of you.

A full discussion of feminization is beyond the scope of this series but I can pass along a few basics for getting started. First, get the sissy into panties. Panties of his own, that he purchases himself. The ideal is the "24/7" goal, meaning that he is always in panties and does not even own any "boy underwear".

Second, pick out a sissy name. Use a feminine version of his own name or another one entirely. You can ask him if he already has one and, if not, give him one. Develop his sissy persona using this name and always refer to this persona as "she" or "her".

It is also good to talk about your experiences with one or more of your close friends, or even your mother. Who knows? They might surprise you with similar stories of their own. You can tell your sissy about these discussions, but leave him in doubt about with whom they have taken place.

And finally, you can use the internet to research feminization, female superiority, etc. You can meet and get ideas from other women and sissies. Just remember, use it for reference but don't believe everything you see!
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So there you have it. The end of a series that turned out to be much longer than I imagined. I have enjoyed the writing and all of the discussion, public and private, that has resulted. Thanks so much to all of my readers!

Caught Your Husband in Panties... Now What? (Part 5)

We have all heard about wives who find out to their surprise that their husband is a crossdresser. What is a woman to do?
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This is article number five in a series about how a woman might handle unexpectedly finding out that her husband crossdresses. I have covered everything from her initial reaction up to the beginning of the first conversation after the discovery. Now I want to continue my discussion of that talk.

As discussed in the prior article, the ideal is for your husband to tell you everything about his behavior. But in truth, he almost certainly will not tell all; there are some things that are just too embarrassing for him to talk about. However, before you finish talking, there are specific things you should talk about and a couple of goals to accomplish.

One thing to explore is when and why he started wearing womens clothes. Most adult sissies do not start crossdressing as adults, they start in their teens or earlier. However, no matter when it was, chances are he remembers the first time he wore an article of womens clothes, usually panties. If not the very first time, he is sure to remember at least the time period.

As for why he started, he might not want to, or even be able to, give a reason. It may be because of embarrassment, maybe it is hard to articulate, or maybe he actually does not know. This is not surprising, many men feel compelled to wear womens clothes for unknown reasons.

There could be many factors: As a young boy, perhaps his mother, a sister, or even an aunt dressed him as a girl at times. Maybe he was jealous over the attention that a sister received or wanted to more closely identify with his mother or sister. For boys that start in their teens, it is often sexually motivated, but as they grow older the sexual aspect diminishes and is replaced by feelings of comfort and security when wearing womens clothes.

Among crossdressers who do start as adults, it might also be for sexual stimulation. Or it could be an escape from the pressures and responsibilities of everyday life. And although it is not applicable in this series, sometimes a woman will use her influence to feminize a male, putting him in panties among other things.

Interestingly, hormones might play a part. Some sissies have been found to have a lower than average ratio of testosterone to estrogen. This is in fact true for me and it raises the possibility that in some cases there is a physical reason why a male might tend toward the feminine.

However, knowing why he started is not the true purpose of this discussion. The purpose is to give him a certain excuse for his crossdressing, to lead him to a specific reason: that he needs to express himself in a feminine way. Whether or not he gives a reason why he started, say something like, "Well, I guess you still need to express a feminine side." He will almost certainly agree. It lets him feel that you understand his motivation and that you will forgive him for deceiving you, not to mention the fact that it is true.

This accomplishes a couple of things. Most importantly, your mutual "understanding" of the reason for his behavior will give you control over his feminization. Although subtle at first, this control can ultimately be extensive. Also, it makes it impossible for him to deny that he is a sissy. If he protests being referred to as a sissy, remind him that he agreed that he "needs to express his femininity" or that he "has a feminine side", and that is all you mean by the word "sissy".

Now try to get an idea about the extent of his crossdressing, also an area in which he might not be completely truthful. You can get some idea from the situation in which you caught him. Did you find, or catch him wearing, just panties? A whole outfit? Makeup? Shoes?

Go over with him in detail what you found or what you saw. If it was just panties, ask him if he wants to wear bras. If he was fully dressed up, ask him if he wants to go out like that. He will probably deny being interested in the "next step" (whatever it may be), but it is a safe bet that it is a false denial.

Lastly, I mentioned earlier that he is likely to promise never to do it again and that he probably threw his "collection" away before your talk. My feeling is that Miss Carolyn's views about how to respond to this and how to proceed will be... controversial. So, I will begin with that point in my next article. I hope you have enjoyed reading and will stick around!

A Man Doesn't Need a Bra? Think again!

Another little break from the "Caught Your Husband in Panties" series...

I think a lot of women could benefit from this site:  http://www.brassiered.com/main.html

It describes itself as "the website that could revolutionize your relationship!" and I am pretty sure it could do just that for many couples. It is mainly focused on three areas: Brassiere discipline, male chastity and men as maids; all worthy subjects I think we can agree!

I especially like the section on "brassiere discipline." I had never thought about the bra as such a powerful symbol of femininity and how that can be used to influence the behavior of a man (and not in the more obvious way!) The site publicizes a very good book called Brassiered: A Complete Guide to Brassiere Discipline which tells the why and how of getting a man in a bra, and where to go from there. You can buy a copy of the book or read the entire book for free on the site. Why buy it if you can read it for free? Maybe as a gift? Like a "gag-gift-but-not-really" if you know what I mean.

Anyway, if you get a chance check it out. You'll be especially glad you did if you are a woman and you want to "help your man put a stop to bad habits, encourage him to become more attentive to your needs, and keep him safe from the temptations of adultery.."

Enjoy and thanks for reading!

Caught Your Husband in Panties... Now What? (Part 4)

We have all heard about wives who find out to their surprise that their husband is a crossdresser. What is a woman to do?
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This is the fourth in a series of articles on how a woman might handle the discovery that her husband is a crossdresser. In previous articles I began with her first reaction to the discovery and ended up discussing how it could actually be a good thing for her, for him, and for the relationship. Now it is finally time to talk about that important post-discovery conversation with the husband.

If you handled the discovery as I outlined, he was left knowing that his secret is out and that you will not ignore it. What could be going through his mind? Well, it could be (and is) a lot of things: How upset is she? (because you gave no clue when you left); Does she think I am gay?; Does she want a divorce?; Will she tell anybody about this? (possibly his greatest fear).

Above all, he is probably telling himself, and will probably swear to you, that he will never do it again. And he means it, but he will be tempted to, and almost certainly will, do it again. By the time you get home, he probably will have thrown his entire "collection" away (and likely not for the first time).

The reason for all the "probablys" is this: in rare cases, he may decide to be completely truthful and say something like, "Ok, you caught me. I am sorry that I kept it a secret from you, but this is me. I can't change and I hope you can accept me the way I am." If so, it is a good thing and shows that he is truthful and courageous, knows himself, and trusts in you and in the strength of the relationship to endure.

Every situation is different and there is no one way to handle this encounter. For starters, let on as little as possible about your feelings in the matter. Tell him that the time has come to talk and get him to the place where you will be most comfortable; the kitchen table, the living room, even the bedroom, it is up to you.

Miss Carolyn suggests bringing the word "sissy" into the conversation at the beginning and using it often. He will probably start in with apologies, excuses, explanations, or possibly with a confession such as mentioned above. In any case, this is the time to assert control over how things will proceed. Firmly interrupt him with a statement in the form of a question such as, "Just tell me this, how long have you been a sissy?"

If he objects to the word "sissy", remind him of the circumstances. Smile sweetly and say something like, "Now honey, I caught you wearing panties, of course you are a sissy." Or, "But you dress up in womens clothes, that's what sissies do." Just be specific and be sure to use the word "sissy".

Now he can't deny that by your definition he is a sissy, but he will want you to know that he is not gay. When this comes up, say something along the lines of, "Don't worry, I know that most sissies are not gay, just like most men are not gay." Notice the subtle message that, even though you don't think he is gay, you may not exactly think of a "sissy" as a "man".

Now you want him to tell you everything. Just know that no matter how much he tells you, it probably won't really be everything. The idea is to get as much as you can from him while understanding that there is almost certainly more.

Start by saying something like, "I am not upset about you being a sissy, I am upset that you were deceitful. You can help make it better by telling me everything." Do this even if you are not so sure about it yourself. It is the best way to get him talking. You might also give him a place to start by asking something specific like, "When did you first wear women's clothes?"

When he begins talking, let him talk, but also ask a lot of questions. Ask him anything you are curious about or anything about which you want more details. And remember, use the word "sissy" often. You want him to get used to thinking of himself as a sissy and of knowing that you do too. Use the word non-judgementally and without negative connotation.

In my next article, I will go over some some important specific (and potentially useful) things that you will need to learn from him. Thanks for reading!

Caught Your Husband in Panties... Now What? (Part 3)

This is the third in a series of articles on this subject. Earlier articles gave advice about how to react to the initial discovery and tried to relieve some doubts that may have arisen. I also explained why it was kept secret and described the shift of power that occurred at the time of discovery. Now I want to discuss the range of possible changes in the relationship that might result.

The first thing to know is that by far the most unlikely change is no change at all. The genie (or maybe Jeannie? ) is out of the bottle. You now know that your partner is a crossdresser, and he knows that you know. There is no way that either of you can "unknow" it. Even if you want to try and he agrees to never do it again, it is very unlikely to be permanent.

It is a common cycle among closeted crossdressers: A man has a desire to wear panties or to dress up, and in pursuit this, he accumulates items which must be kept hidden. This becomes a source of increasing stress as the collection grows. Then something happens, he is almost discovered or the sense of guilt due to conflicted feelings (see Part 2 of this series) becomes too great, and he "purges". He throws everything away and promises himself that he will never do it again, and he means it. But sooner or later, the cycle begins again.

You cannot spend your relationship like this, wondering if your partner is dressing up when he is alone or if he is hiding something from you. You can't always be afraid to (or maybe trying to) walk in on him unexpectedly. Do you want him to always be fighting this desire and feeling guilty about it? And what about the inevitable time when you find hidden panties, or catch him dressed up again? Such a relationship, full of suspicion and lacking in trust, is doomed to fail. There is a better way, a whole range of better ways.

First, you should accept that your partner is a crossdresser and always will be. This will allow you to see the situation clearly. Once you do this, you will begin to see how it can work to your advantage and make you, your partner, and the relationship happier than ever. I will point out some of the possibilities and you are sure to discover others for yourself.

Next, resolve that you will be the one in control of the situation. This is not a comfortable idea for many women, but if it makes you nervous, focus just on this one area. You will get used to it and later you can expand your control if you like (and you probably will). You could tell him that he can continue his behavior out of your sight, but this is not recommended. It will drive you apart over time and, more importantly, you lose control of the situation and any advantages to be gained.

Now you can think about what you want. Would you like to make sure your husband is faithful? Good news! A man that is in panties 24/7 will rarely cheat on his wife. How about some help with the household chores? Congratulations! You are well on your way to having a sissy maid that will do some (or all!) of the housework. Want to be the envy of your friends? Think of their reactions when you tell them over after-work drinks that your husband is at home cleaning the bathrooms. Do you want more sex with your husband? Or maybe less? Well, with a little imagination, either of these options is possible.

Are you beginning to get an idea of the possibilities? You can have any of these benefits (and so much more) with no arguing, no nagging, no begging... virtually no effort on your part at all. And guess what? He will thank you for it! His devotion to you will be immense and unshakable. And you can get him to demonstrate his devotion in almost any way you choose (use your imagination).

The fact is, some women resort to coercion or outright trickery to get to the place where women that catch their husbands wearing panties find themselves by sheer luck. My hope is that this series of articles might help women that have found themselves in this situation realize their good fortune.

Stay tuned for part 4 where I (finally!) talk about that important first post-discovery conversation.

Male Training Theory

Hi there! Just a quick break from the "Caught Your Husband in Panties" series to bring you a really great link that a friend showed me. Dream Lover Labs makes and sells various devices used for training males but the page I really like is this one: 

http://www.dreamloverlabs.com/theory.php

It contains several essays on the training of males by Women. This link could be a big help to a lot of women! It would be a great benefit to society if all women were aware of these techniques. I don't know if Miss Barbara has ever read this exact page but I recognize many of these techniques from her use of them in our marriage!

Pass this link on to any women that you know, especially women with disrespectful or overbearing husbands! These men need to be trained for their own good, the good of society, and most of all for the benefit of the woman.

Caught Your Husband in Panties... Now What? (Part 2)

We have all heard about wives who find out to their surprise that their husband is a crossdresser. What is a woman to do?
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This is the second part of a series that describes how a woman might handle the unexpected discovery that her husband secretly dresses in women's clothes. In the first part, I described Miss Carolyn's advice about the best way to react at the time of the discovery. I also touched on some of the things a woman might feel and mostly dispelled one major concern, the fear that the husband is gay. I ended part one by describing the immediate power-shift in the relationship, which happens in any female-male relationship, when you see him dressed in women's clothes.

Miss Carolyn's advice about the best way to react at the time of discovery involved telling him that you two will be talking over the situation soon and then immediately leaving. The reasons for this approach are twofold: First, it lets him know that his secret is out and that you are not going to ignore it and second, leaving without giving him a chance to respond increases his tension about what is to come.

If the discovery has already occurred and you did not respond in this way, don't worry, it may not be too late to follow Miss Carolyn's advice. You can start by bringing up the subject at an unexpected time, such as when he is watching sports or working in the yard, and letting him know that you want to talk about it... when you get home. The key is to do this when you are leaving for a short time and to give him as little chance as possible to react. This will have the same tension-building effect mentioned earlier.

Then leave. Go shopping, have a drink, get your nails done, have fun! But you have some thinking to do during this time. After all, you have to decide what you want to do with your new-found power. You also have to acknowledge that your husband has been hiding this side of himself from you and you may feel resentful or even betrayed. However, it is important that you understand the reason that he kept this secret from you.

The reason is many-faceted but it boils down to one main thing: It is because he loves you and he is concerned about what you think of him. Through no fault of his own, he has been taught that femininity is inferior to masculinity and therefore he is deeply conflicted about his need to express himself in a feminine manner. It is because of this conflict within himself that he felt he needed to keep this secret from you. He was afraid that you would think less of him because of this feminine side.

And the truth is, you were raised in the same society. You might also feel that femininity is "less" than masculinity, if only at a subconscious level. You have to examine your own feelings and be honest, do you think less of him now that you have seen that he needs to express a feminine side? If so, it is something with which you will need to come to terms. Why would you think less of him upon finding him dressed in woman's clothes? Would he think less of you if he found you dressed in man's clothes? Probably not. And why is that? You need to consider this and the whole situation may turn out to be a learning experience for both of you.

Miss Carolyn's advice: Accept that your husband has a feminine aspect that he needs to express, forgive him for keeping it a secret, and get over your negative feelings of resentment or betrayal. He did not intend to hurt you. If fact, it is because of his love for you that he was trying to protect your feelings. True, he may not be exactly the man that you thought you married, but if you think less of him, it is because you yourself harbor feelings that women (and femininity) are inferior to men (masculinity).

Now, about that "new-found power" I mentioned. You may not feel it (yet) but it happened in his mind the instant you saw him in panties (or in a dress, or whatever). He felt exposed and vulnerable and you were suddenly in possession of his deepest, darkest secret. You are now in a position to bring about almost any change in your marriage that you desire.

So, what will you do? Needless to say, Miss Carolyn has some ideas and advice about that. In order to keep things short, I will cover these in my next article. Thanks for reading and I do hope you will stick around as I continue the series!

Caught Your Husband in Panties... Now What? (Part 1)

We have all heard about wives who find out to their surprise that their husband is a crossdresser. What is a woman to do?
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Everyone has heard it so often that it is practically a cliche. A woman comes home from work early, or perhaps she leaves the house on a shopping trip and, forgetting something, returns home. She walks into her house and there, much to her surprise, she finds her husband admiring himself in the mirror, wearing a dress and pantyhose and makeup!

There are many variations of this story. Maybe the husband is parading around the house in panties, or masturbating while wearing a garter belt and stockings. Sometimes it happens that a woman finds panties among her husband's belongings and confronts him with the evidence of a possible affair, only to have him admit that the panties are his (or maybe hers) and that he himself secretly wears them.

Unfortunately, this situation is generally seen by the woman as a bad thing, if not downright catastrophic. There is the sudden realization that her husband, as she might phrase it, "is not the man that I thought I married". She may suffer feelings of betrayal because of the realization that he has been keeping secrets from her. Often, and most devastatingly, she will conclude that this means that her husband is secretly gay.

Miss Carolyn (for those who do not already know) is the mother of Miss Barbara, the woman to whom I am married. She suggested that I write this essay with the idea that it might be beneficial for women who find themselves in this situation. The first thing that she wants to make clear is this: your husband is almost certainly not gay!

It is true that he is a crossdresser, and there is likely an aspect of sexual excitement in this behavior for him, but most crossdressers are not gay. Gay men are by definition men that are attracted to other men. Most crossdressers are in fact attracted to women, just like most men. Of course, there is a small chance that he might be gay, but that has little to do with the fact that he is a crossdresser. In other words, there is a small chance that any man might be gay, crossdresser or not. The only way you would know for sure is if he told you, or if you were to catch him in an intimate situation with another man.

The next things you should know are that yes, he has been keeping secrets from you and no, he is not exactly the man that you thought you married... and, if handled correctly, both of these will be very good things for you! Also good for him and for your relationship, but especially good for you. I will come back to these points soon but for now, what should you do (or what should you have done) at the moment of discovery?

Miss Carolyn's recommendation to a woman faced with this situation is that she remain calm above all. Of course, it is only natural to register surprise at such a discovery but it is important to regain composure as quickly as possible. Try to keep in mind that no matter what you are feeling, the surprise, embarrassment, humiliation, and fear that your husband is feeling are whole magnitudes more intense, and this gives you a great advantage. The best thing to do is to say something like, "Well, isn't this a surprise? I'm leaving now but I'll be back soon and then we are going to talk. You have fun!" And then smile and calmly walk out of house. He will probably be speechless and he certainly won't follow you (not dressed like that!). And needless to say, you can bet that he will not be having any fun while you are gone.

If something like this has already happened and you did not handle it this way, don't worry, it is not too late. The main thing that a woman in this situation, or any woman for that matter, needs to know is this: Once she has seen her husband (or boyfriend, or indeed any other man) dressed in women's clothes, the balance of power in the relationship immediately shifts to her. It is almost like magic!

This power-shift is a basic principle of female superiority. If used properly, it will be the basis of your relationship with your husband from that moment on. In the next essay of this series, I will discuss how to put this principle to use, starting with that first talk the two of you have after the incident. Stick around, this is going to be fun!